Monday, September 29, 2008

Grumpy Old Man Mode

If you are under 45 or of a nervous disposition, I suggest you stop reading right now. This is for grownups.

"First in, last out". This is the doctors' joke for the bladder daddies, the poor guys whose enlarged prostate gland is constricting the neck of their bladder, and therefore the flow of their urine. Mine is due for a recoke. But it's good joke, huh? No, it fucking isn't. It's at the least a nuisance, and the most, a precursor of prosate cancer. So wipe the fucking grin off your face, Dr Jokey Asshole.

It's on a par, I guess, with all those women in their forties who start to lose bladder control and end up with all kinds of pads as the price for being able to sneeze, giggle or run for a bus. What a gas! What a joke! Well, not really, not if you are the woman in question.

Let me tell you another tale. When Viagra was first announced and for Christ knows what reason was designated a prescription drug, I went to our village health centre for a tetanus injection, and met the senior doctor in charge, Dr Pam Kenny, standing at the reception desk with one of the centre nurses, and she said with a cackle: "We are just waiting to see which men in the village come in to get a prescription for Viagra!"

Thank god I cannot remember who the nurse was, or I would have TWO people to despise. Incontinence and impotence are not joke conditions. I don't have a problem with women who hate men - it's what I mostly expect - but cruelty I cannot forgive.

Did I just slip into grumpy old man mode here?

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