Tuesday, June 17, 2014

France today, where tomorrow?

A Russian video about France which cannot be shown in France. It beggars belief.

Vidéo interdite en France... Mais pas en Russie ! Soon in Canada

 http://www.google.fr/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=2&cad=rja&sqi=2&ved=0CDcQtwIwAQ&url=http://fr.gloria.tv/?media%3D527837&ei=e1L6Upm_Kcajhgeh9YDQDA&usg=AFQjCNH5JR7_oNPuXzos8YZVJODUgGNRIQ&sig2=xZ5g04yzF-QmaefmVbj9GQ&bvm=bv.61190604%2cd.d2k

Monday, June 02, 2014

I wish I'd said that

  A few gems from various well-known people. My favourite is the Chateaubriand anecdote. The same seems to be happening to me....



Plaisirs d'humour !
Un bon mot que j'aime à citer de Louis XVIII sur Chateaubriand "M. de Chateaubriand croit qu'il est devenu sourd depuis qu'il n'entend plus parler de lui" 
 

Au milieu d'un dîner bien arrosé, un invité assommant se vante auprès de Marcel Aymé :
- Moi, monsieur, je me suis fait tout seul !
 L'auteur rétorque :
- Ah, Monsieur, vous déchargez Dieu d'une bien grande responsabilité.
  
 
Au restaurant, Alphonse Allais examine avec soin la carte et le menu, puis finit par commander :
 
- Donnez-moi, pour commencer, une faute d'orthographe. 
 
Le garçon, imperturbable, répond :
 
- Il n'y en a pas, monsieur Allais.
 
- Alors, dans ce cas, pourquoi les mettez-vous sur le menu ?
>  
 
En fin d'une conférence d'Agatha Christie, une jeune fille lui demande :
 
- N'est-ce pas un choix étrange, Madame, pour une romancière, d'avoir épousé un spécialiste des fouilles en Orient ?
 
- Au contraire ! Épousez un archéologue ! C'est le seul qui vous regardera avec de plus en plus d'intérêt, au fur et à mesure que vous vieillirez !
 

 
- Monsieur Guitry, comment voyez-vous la vie amoureuse ?
 
C'est très simple : on se veut et on s'enlace ; puis on se lasse et on s'en veut...
 

 
Anne-Catherine de Ligneville, encore très belle veuve d'Helvetius, ayant vainement attendu Benjamin Franklin, l'accueille ainsi à sa visite suivante, un peu piquée :
 
- N'auriez-vous pas oublié notre rendez-vous ?
 
- Certes non, Madame ! J'attendais simplement que les nuits fussent plus longues...
  
 
Ce n'est pas pour rien que Rossini laissera son nom à une fameuse recette de tournedos. A l'issue d'un repas trop frugal, il s'entend dire par son hôte :
 
 - Maître, j'espère que vous nous ferez bientôt l'honneur de dîner à nouveau ici.
 
 - Mais bien sûr ! Tout de suite si vous voulez .......
 
 
 
Isadora Duncan admirait sans réserve Bernard Shaw et lui murmura un jour:
 
 - Quel miracle ce serait d'avoir un enfant ensemble. Imaginez qu'il ait ma beauté et votre intelligence !
 
- Oui ... mais .... supposez que ce soit le contraire ..........
  
 
L'acteur et écrivain américain Dan Spencer regarde la télé avec un ami qui s'extasie devant les programmes du câble :
 
- Sais-tu qu'il existe maintenant des chaînes qui ne parlent que de météo 24 h sur 24?
 
 - Quand j'étais petit, on appelait ça une fenêtre !
  
 
On s'interrogeait sur l'âge exact d'une illustre sociétaire du Français.
 
 - Cinquante ans ? avança quelqu'un.
 
- Plus les matinées, précisa Robert Hirsch. 
  
 
Une suffragette interrompit un jour Churchill au milieu d'un discours pour lui lancer :
 
 - Si j'étais votre épouse, je mettrais du poison dans votre thé.
 
  - He bien, moi, madame, si j'étais votre mari, je le boirais !
 

 Pour finir ce mot d'Alexandre Dumas

 
 "J'aime mieux les méchants que les imbéciles, car parfois ils se reposent."

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Is it that time already?

I had just wished everyone a Happy New Year when they announced the Summer Equinox. Time is speeding up and I wish it wouldn't.
My blog silence is occasioned by a huge - but enjoyable - amount of work on conservation-related matters, notably the Cambridge International Swift Conference, nearly 150 delegates from 24 different countries. I am now working on the Proceedings, and once that is finished, I will start the annual rounds of the Barn Owl boxes to see what's going on.
Family are also taking up a lot of my time, of which not millisecond is begrudged. I think I need to make a pact with myself to post to this blog at least once a week!
Thanks to Mike and Ann for prodding me to let them and the world know that the old scrote is still alive and banging the rocks.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Monday, March 17, 2014

Controversy

A woman in Rugeley has been the victim of a hate campaign after someone posted a photo of her breastfeeding in a public place. It has aroused an unbelievable reaction on the social media, vehemently for and violently against.
I have to confess that on the few occasions when I have seen a woman breastfeeding in public, it has disconcerted me, though I cannot tell you why. One thing's for sure: I would not condemn her, but I would probably avert my gaze.
For those of you who are all in favour of public breastfeeding, sit back, relax and enjoy this videoclip.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Set phrases


A friend of ours / came round / the other evening / and / it took us ages / to get rid of him.

The man who wrote that sentence on the blackboard (yes, this was a long time ago) during a teacher-training weekend gave me a fine piece of weaponry in the battle to teach English to foreign learners. I stole his idea - we called it eclecticism in those days - and drummed that sentence and a hundred like it into the heads of generations of young folk. I like to think that even today in Zurich or Stuttgart or Toulouse there are ageing bank managers and tooth doctors and masseuses who, at the drop of an idiom, can talk about a friend of theirs and about it taking ages to get from here to there and how they'd love to get rid of dandruff, etc.
It was a new idea but the methodology was as old as Moses: to commit to memory sentences containing whole phrases which, individually, did not yield easily to analysis. Go on, mock if you wish, but it worked. And if you are a teacher of English as a foreign language, please eclect.

Envoi: the writing of this piece was provoked by discovering two of my old workbooks from the nineteen-sixties, their pages creased and yellowed just like me, but full of happy memories and good stuff. Just like me.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Finding a wife


A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of £5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.


The man was impressed.


The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed...


The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the £5,000. She gives him back his £5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her. Then he married the one with the biggest tits.