Wednesday, February 17, 2016

How to make the perfect cup of tea

These notes are for my American grandson, Harry. Harry, this is how Grandpa makes a cup of tea.

1 Switch kettle switch to ON.
2 Switch kettle switch to OFF. Fill with water.
3 Repeat Action 1.
4 Wipe spilled water from round the kettle and the teapot.
5 Forget to warm the teapot. Say bad word.
6 Take down tea caddy and put 1.5 teaspoons of tea into the teapot.
7 Put tea caddy back, and wipe up spilled tealeaves from round the pot.
8 When water boils, pour too much over the tealeaves and close lid.
9 Open lid and stir tea. Close lid.
10 Repeat Action 4.
11 Pick up dishcloth from the floor and put it in the sink.
12 Set timer for four minutes.
13 Go to study, check email. Remember tea after 15-20 minutes.
14 Say bad word. Repeat as necessary.
14 Go back to kitchen, pour tea into cup. Forget the strainer. Say bad word.
15 Add milk to taste and stir.
16 Look at tea, then pour it in the sink.
17 Go back to Action 1 and repeat sequence ad lib.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

New blog, same old scrote

I have created a new blog - well, it's been going for a few months now, called Grumpy Old Scrote. This is the introduction I wrote when I started it:

Introduction: the Old Scrote Mission

My first blog, Old Scrote's Home, was started mainly as a way of staying in touch with my family, half of whom are in California, the other half in Auckland, New Zealand. As they - and I - have grown older, and as means of communication have improved (Skype, Facetime, Whatsapp, etc), the need for the blog has diminished,  I shall leave it open, partly for the vain reason that I like going back over the posts to remind myself what was in my head in those years.

The title of this new blog, Grumpy Old Scrote, really says it all. There are so many things going on in the world that get my goat or my dander up, and I don't mean only the obvious targets like political correctness and the ineptitude of those in authority. My hackles are raised and my nerves are got on by anything that, according to my mind, demeans us ordinary chaps.

Enough. Let the blog speak for itself.

Before you venture there, I warn you that I make no effort to moderate my language or my views. In other words, don't let your Auntie Mary see it.

Monday, February 08, 2016

Serenity it is, then

With all the gloom that pervades the media these days, I was beginning to become despondent.

And then my daughter sent me this photograph of my Californian grandchildren, the twins Kiki and Harry, dressed up for some formal occasion.

When I saw it,   "my heart soared like a hawk", as Chief Dan George exclaimed when his grandson reappeared after a long absence.

So, much as I want to be a Grumpy Old Man these days, I realise that there are forces conspiring against me, causing - as in the case of this photograph -  a big smile on my face and a warm glow in my chest.

I know when I am beaten: I will just have to put up with being serene for a while.