If you are looking for a nice aquatic home for a goldfish, you could use my kitchen floor. Yes, amici miei, the waste pipe from the washing machine has blocked again, cascading waste water all over the place. But don't worry, the Old Scrote is on the case, using a mixture of chemicals, hot water and curses to clear the blockage. Today I am going Barn Owling again, but on my return, I will again blast water through the pipe, fingers crossed. I hope to be able to report that I am flush with success. Groan.