Dear Mrs Scrote, she writes, I understand you have gone foreign again, Do be careful, dear, it's like being in England only smellier and the men pinch your bum. Did I hear that you went to a doctor and he told you you have a low hemagoblin count? I hope you get a high one back soon.
My jee pee - a lovely man with soft hands and a prickly beard - told me I had a cute angina, but at my age a bit of flattery is welcome. Not sure how he knows, though, because I am always careful how I dress.
Blodwen Trellis, Mrs, Widow, retd