So, it looks as if Her
Majesty Queen Alex Salmond is going to win the battle for an
independent Scotland. How do you feel if you are English? I can only
speak for myself and the irrational feeling I have that if the Scots
don't love me any more, why should I love them? Then, warming to my
theme of alienation, I comfort myself that I don't like their
cuisine, I don't like their accent, I don't like their weather, I
don't like their music, I don't like bloody Hogmanay - in fact, I am
feeling really good now about the impending divorce. Who needs
friends whose idea of good food is haggis or neaps and tatties, whose
idea of music is the strangulation of a bladder with a pipe attached,
whose idea of manly dress is a pleated skirt and no knickers?
Goodness, I feel so
much better now. Queen Alex, you can kiss my a...e, it's good
riddance to the lot of you.
But if, against the
odds, the Scottish people vote NO to independence, I want you to know
that I love the Highlands, I love malt whisky, I love the romanticism
of the Isles, I love the poetry of Robert Burns, I love Scottish
wildlife, and I once kissed a very pretty girl from Edinburgh.
Welcome back, even if you never left.
1 comment:
I don't mind the Scots voting for independence, as long as they don't expect us to pay the expenses of it.
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