I am so glad it's Friday as I have just cause to be grumpy. The whole saga of getting a B-card (platinum, no less) and then failing to access my online account would bore the balls off a buffalo, better you should read Beowulf in fraktur. But, being a generous fellow, I will give you the essentials.
Having
failed to log in, I call the helpline. Helpline Person 1 asks all
kinds of questions, and then transfers me to Helpline Person 2,
Helpline Person 2 asks the same questions, then gives me some info
and, when his suggestions don't work, I ring up again and have a chat
with Helpline Person 3, who asks the same questions and then makes
alternative suggestions.
They
don't work either, so I go to the online chat facility, you know, the
kind where you type in your responses to, in this case, Cedrick:
"My name is Cedrick, how can I help you?". After a
series of interchanges, I realise that Cedrick is a robot, programmed
only to tell me "I'm sorry to hear that", "I don't
have the information, you need so please phone [helpline numbers that
I suffered from earlier]".
At
this point, I ask him for a statement of account, so that I can pay
what I owe and then cut up and ceremonially burn my Barclaycard. At
which point, the robot whirrs and says "Your account has been
blocked. You need to phone [another helpline number]."
I
was sorry to hear that.
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