Every day I read on the Cambirds yahoo group about gardens heaving with birdlife. Tits and finches and thrushes everywhere chomping at the feeders and splashing in the baths. And overhead, squadrons of tasties like Siskin and Redpoll and Brambling on their way to somewhere or other.
But the somewhere or other they are on their way to is definitely not my garden. This morning - and this morning is typical - I had one myxied rabbit, one Starling with a funny leg and an ugly cat with attitude.
Birds are not eating me out of house and home, birds are not costing me a fortune. In fact I can't remember an October when my bank balance was so healthy.
I am at my wits' end. Should I keep staring at an empty garden through my binoculars? Or should I just spend my days looking at my unspent money through a loupe?
It will make no difference, I know, but I think I'll go outside and throw something at that bloody cat.