Watch out, they're everywhere!

I am deeply worried about the state of the nation. I have seen a certain famous personality on TV a number of times. I cannot name her, of course, but I will call her Jean Road-Carrier. From her physical appearance, her outlandish way of dressing and her vitriolic language, it is clear to me that Jean R-C is a witch. Appearances with other females on such dangerous programmes as Loose Women (the title itself is a giveaway!) lead me to the inevitable conclusion that the nation is at peril from a resurgence of witchcraft.
 Investigations into this evil phenomenon - and there have been precious few - are either ignored or suppressed by the powers-that-be, though whether through fear or collusion, I cannot say.

It is time to set up a special court to deal with these evil females, to bring them to justice and so protect the good citizens of this realm from the Powers of Darkness.

After all, it's a shame to have only one Bonfire Night a year......