Grandparental responsibility

As you know, I have six lovely grandchildren, but this morning I woke up to find that I now have nineteen. It's a complicated story, so I will just pick out the highlights. About a month ago, I noticed that the female Mallard in my garden had taken to squatting in the long grass at the base of the plum tree just outside my back door. Could she be on eggs?
The two males that accompanied her everywhere (I don't know which is the husband and which the fancy man, but they both tripped the light fantastic with her from time to time) were in constant attendance.
Anyway, this morning, I looked out to see that she was in the garden pond with thirteen ducklings. That is prolific. As to the fathers, they disappeared the moment I screamed (with joy, that is), and haven't reappeared since.
Now I feel a heavy responsibility for the safety of the thirteen fluffies. I have put an upturned wheelbarrow near the pond, but I doubt if it will fool the foxes. Meanwhile, the crows and the jackdaws are circling....
With drama like this, who needs Springwatch?

Histoire

Another of Angit's little gems:-

Un jour un fleuriste se rend chez le barbier pour se faire couper les cheveux. Après sa coupe, il demande combien il doit. Le barbier répond ''C'est gratuit, je fais du bénévolat cette semaine'' . Il quitte tout content. Le lendemain, en ouvrant sa boutique, le barbier trouve à sa porte une carte de remerciement et une douzaine de roses. Plus tard, un policier se présente et se fait couper les cheveux. Quand il vient pour payer, le barbier lui dit: 'Je ne peux accepter d'argent, cette semaine, je fais du bénévolat. Heureux, le policier quitte et, le lendemain, dépose à la porte du barbier une douzaines de beignés, avec un mot de remerciement. Puis, le député du comté se présente et lorsqu'il vient pour payer, le barbier lui répond: Mais non, cette semaine c'est gratuit. Je fais mon bénévolat! Très heureux de cette aubaine, le député quitte la boutique. Le lendemain quand le barbier vient pour ouvrir, une douzaine de membres du parlement attendent en ligne pour se faire couper les cheveux gratuitement. Voila mes amis, la différence fondamentale entre les citoyens de ce pays et les politiciens qui nous gouvernent.

Pussy Galore

I
The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
'O lovely Pussy! O Pussy my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!'

II
Pussy said to the Owl, 'You elegant fowl!
How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?'
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose,
His nose,
His nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.


III
'Dear pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?' Said the Piggy, 'I will.'
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.

Splendid bird!

During all my ringing years, I only ever caught one of these birds. I had put up a mistnet to try to capture an escaped budgerigar belonging to a sweet old lady in the village. When I returned to the net fifteen minutes later, the only bird in the net was the species you can see here being handled by a sweet young lady.
As you can gather, when it comes to the ladies, I am not in the least ageist.

Mrs T in full sail

Our correspondent from North Wales is definitely NOT "sleeping thar below":

Good heavens, Mrs Scrote, she writes, I know you can be a bit wild, but I never thought you had naughticle blood in your vines. All I can say is A l'eau c'est l'heure and hope you don't throw up over anyone. Personally I hate the sea after the one trip I took with the late Mr Trellis on the Mona Lisa, you know, that Camel Laired boat that goes from Holyhead to the Isle of Man. I didn't smile once, I can tell you. Nor did my late husband after he tried to touch a matelot's bottom for luck.
Yours etc
Blodwen Trellis, Mrs, Widow, retd, landlocked.

I Must Go Down to the Sea

I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face and a grey dawn breaking.

I must go down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over

I am no sailor, but there are days - like today - when I know exactly what Masefield was feeling. But I'll be all right once I've mowed the lawns, weeded the borders, trimmed the vine, swept the pathways, washed the windows, sanded down the woodwork on the porch, polished the ---- well you know what I'm getting at.
Have a nice day!

Seven and a half candles

I am relieved my family didn't try to put seventy-four candles on the birthday cake - I no longer have the puff for that.
It was a good party, though. After a day when I received visits from friends and neighbours, and several phonecalls, emails and facebook messages, we sat down for a celebratory meal of köfte and basmati rice, followed by cake with candles.
Best of all was the singing of Happy Birthday - Jeremy and Jackie and the three boys, Joe, Matthew and little Alfie, and on the phone from San Diego, Sarah and the munchkins, Sophie, Kiki and Harry. And my lovely friend "Angit" was with us too.
If this is what birthdays are like, I am going to have one every year from now on.