A tramp knocks on a farmhouse door. The farmer's wife answers. He tells her he is hungry.
She says: "Would you like some of yesterday's pie?"
He replies: "Yes."
She says: "Come back tomorrow."
I once had a business meeting after hours in a pub with a businesswoman who brought her young son along. While she went to the toilet, he said to me "Do you know how to keep a moron in suspense?"
"No," I replied.
"I'll tell you later," he said.
Oh yes, and by the way, have a great Christmas, or whatever.