Cain and Abel

And Adam knew Eve, and she conceivedeth, and brought forth two sons, named Cain and Abel. After that, Adam puttedeth he up his feet and saideth: "Two brawny lads, let them drag the ass's thighbone through the sod and grow the maize". And Eve, being a good Jewish mother, caredeth she for them and fed them and nagged them and stopped them doing dirty stuff and tried to persuade them to become doctors or lawyers, But the lads listenedeth not, for they quite liked dragging an ass's thighbone through the sod. But it came to pass, as it usual doeseth, that the two bros got into a spat, and Cain the Bad sleweth he Abel the Good with one mighty slew. And then Cain, to avoid the wrath of the Divine Gendarme, soddedeth he off to the Land of Nod, which was a bit like the driest parts of Arizona, and took to himself a wife, though where the frick she cameth from, nobody knows. And he started begetting like it was going out of fashion, which is just as well, because if he hadn't, there would be no George W Bush or Gordon Brown today. Come to think of it, maybe if Abel had slain Cain, we might have had a better choice of leaders......