Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat,
Please put a penny in the old man's hat.
If you haven't got a penny, a ha'penny will do.
If you haven't got a ha'penny, God bless you.
Actually, what I need is not a penny or indeed a ha'penny, but fifteen euro, the price of a Turkish visa. Yes, lads and lassies, the imperial arse is getting out of the imperial chair and going to the Land of Lokum for a stretch.
Tomorrow, Christmas Day, will be spent doing laundry, clearing out the perishables and packing a wee suitcase. Boxing Day will be spent recovering from a fat lunch to which I have been invited. Tuesday, I climb into big silver bird and go through sky to Istanbul, where I will be met by my wonderful Angit.
There's more to the trip than a few good fish dinners at Yakamoz, though. I am fixed up with some consultations with some top medicos in Ankara to see if we can finally work out what is causing my weird medical condition, and what can then be done about it.
I could come back to the UK feeling a new man (Don't even go there, I'll do the jokes).
So, Lights of my Life, wish me well. And if they discover my bones are beyond repair, this is what I want on my stone:
Don't mourn for me now,
Mourn for me never,
I'm going to do nothing
for ever and ever.
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