Listen, i miei prodi, the East Cambridgeshire District Council Annual Canvass of Electors 2008/9 has stabbed me in the back. Among the clauses I found in the small print is the following: People aged 70 and over cannot sit on a jury.
Just as peers of the realm, lunatics and criminals may not vote in elections, Old Scrotes are deemed unfit to sit in judgment on their fellow persons. It's outrageous. And a waste. Here you have, in me, someone who over the decades has honed his prejudices to the point where I can argue convincingly against minorities (except jazz fans), majorities (except oenophiles) and people who have fluff in their navels.
As I say, what a waste. With crime on the increase, the country - and I say this in all modesty - needs someone like me to demand life sentences with hard labour for speeding motorists, unmarried mothers, tobacconists, the glottal stop, Osmagalians and other antisocial elements. Damn. What a waste.