Ever helpful with her advice, Mrs T has gone south of the Alps:Dear Silvia Burlesqueoni, she writes, you seem to be a very virile person. All this carousing with young women, is it your way of getting back at your mum and dad for giving you a girly first name? Maybe you're letting everyone know you're not a whatchacallit, a poofter. It's none of my business but I think you ought to rain in your passions a bit or you'll cock yourself up and won't be able to run the country properly any more, not that you run it properly anyway.
I think you should get yourself a nice hobby. That's what Mr Trellis, my late husband, did and it seemed to stop him being, you know, too frisky. I still have his collection of naturist magazines somewhere. I can send them to you if you like.
Blodwen Trellis, Mrs, Widow, retd.