Monday, September 19, 2011

Choices

(This is scurrilous so those of a sensitive and retiring nature should defintely read on)

A GI is referred to the Army Psychiatrist. After some preliminary questions, the psychiatrist comes to the heart of the matter.
"Do you masturbate?"
"What's that, doc?"
"Do you ever use your hand to, erm, excite yourself?"
"Oh, pull my putz! Sure."
"How often?"
"Oh, I dunno, two-three times a week, I guess."
The psychiatrist makes a note and then continues.

"Do you ever consort with harlots?"
"Come again, doc."
"Do you ever pay a woman for sex?"
"Oh, you mean, go with a hooker. Sure."
"How often?"
"Oh, I dunno, two-three times a week, I guess."
The psychiatrist raises an eyebrow, makes another note and then continues.
"Do you ever have nocturnal emissions?"
"Hey, I know that one, doc! Like wet dreams, you mean? Sure."
"How often?"
"Oh, I dunno, two-three times a week, I guess."
 The psychiatrist worked hard to keep the surprise out of her voice.
"Hm, I see. Tell me, which do you like best?"
The soldier thought for a while.
"Hey, that's a hard one, doc. Pullin the putz, screwin a hooker, havin a wet dream...."
He paused. Then, face lighting up, continues:
"... ya know, doc, I guess I like the wet dreams best."
 "Good heavens, why is that?"
"You just meet a nicer class of people."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't think your guy would've "cut-the-mustard" at depth, though.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-14986769

Old Scrote said...

It could only happen in California!