Complete the following sentence ad lib:
I have never seen so many/ so few __________________ !
A few suggestions for the gaps: butterflies, hedgehogs, wood mice, ladybirds, velociraptors
Answer the following question:
Where have all the ______________ gone?
A few suggestions for the gaps: greenfinches, moths, frogs, velociraptors.
What follows statements and questions like the above is a rash of amateur theorising. Probably explanations for abundance/scarcity include: too much wet/dry weather, global warming, viral infections, sunspots, meteor impacts, Stephen Spielberg.
The great thing about it is that the details vary from year to year, eg, next year it will be sparrows, wasps and iguanadons, but the game remains the same. I am, as you know, immune to this kind of flimflammery, but I must say that my pyrocantha has never had such an abundant crop of succulent fire-red berries. Wanna know why? Wanna know what I think? It's because, erm, oh, sorry, gotta go, the kettle's boiling.
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