Sunday 5 February, early

The scene first thing this chilly Sunday morning. It's lovely sight: pure, virgin, untouched snow, snow on which the hand of man has not set foot.
A quick check of the morning papers on tv produced the usual headlines: FLIGHTS CANCELLED! ROAD CHAOS! PANIC! WORSE TO COME! It's moments like this that make you proud to be British. What other race in the world can turn the teeniest inconvenience into a major crisis? What other people can go from "nuisance" to "catastrophe" the moment half a millimetre has fallen?

My neighbours are on holiday in sunny Swaziland right now. Poor things, they don't know what they're missing.