Saturday, June 10, 2006

Liffery K-L

Pretending to be Irish, a stratagem much used by Jews in Gaza. Oy veh, Maria.

kennett, adj
Feeling good after being undercharged in an Italian restaurant. Rare.

king's lynn
A medical condition ascribed to Henry VII, who experienced finger spasms when told it was his turn to buy a round. The "Lynn" refers to his wife, who kept an empty purse handy for such occasions.

Absent-minded self-fondling. It is not generally realised that in the first line of the American folksong "Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride". “a-courtin’” was originally "a-kirtlin'". This was changed by popular demand after a plague of waterfleas in Minnesota.


South American mammals that adopt a stance of buddhist calm when confronted with shears.

linden doles
Melancholy brought on by leafless trees.

little downham
[1] A property owner's right to chop all the branches off a dangerous tree while leaving the bole intact. (See also lynford arboretum)
[2] a badly-executed bikini line.

little ouse
The colourless liquid which emerges from an uncooperative zit.

little raveley
A futile attempt to re-create the thrills of a great raveley (qv).

little snoring
Great snoring (qv) for the timid.

little stukeley
She says, “I am feeling a little stukely tonight, darling”. He says, “I am so sorry, darling, I have the most terrible migraine.”

An informal way of slicking down hair, much favoured by Adolf Hitler. His aide-de-camp used to collect the Fuehrer's Saliva during His Speeches expressly for That Purpose.

A moment of indecision. Atypical lode moment occurs when you can’t decide whether to cross your left leg over your right, or your right leg over your left.

A scale for measuring how funny a joke is, based on audience reaction ranging from a subdued groan (score 1) to a double inguinal hernia (score 10).

Descriptive of those rare occasions when a man wishes it wouldn't.

lynford arboretum
The opposite of a little downham (qv), viz, a property owner's right to remove the BOLE of a dangerous tree while leaving the BRANCHES intact. Tricky manoeuvre.

lyng, n
[1] Allophones of the phoneme [r]. Lyng accounts for the poster outside a Kyoto theatre announcing a performance of Mozart's Magic Fruit.
[2] lyng lyng (redupl) The sound made by a Chinese telephone.

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