Pause dramatic

Peeple laughed ven I sat down at ze piano: someone had taken ze stool avay.

Macht nichts, I zink to meinself, 's isch mir egal, I am a provessional klavierspieler, ja. I lose dignity, I increase my fee. Zimple.

"Und now," I announced in mein best Zunday aksent, "Ladis'n'chentlmn, I vould like to play for you....

I pause dramatic.

".... Beethoven's Varsaw Concerto!"

I vait for applause. No applause. Filisteins!


I pause dramatic again.

"Unfortunately," I zay, vickedly, in mein second-best Zunday aksent, "he did not write one."

Vot a choke! Like Till Eulenspiegel, such a lustige Streich!

Silence.

Zo. Fick 'em. I play Chopsticks instead.

And I zuddenly realise zat I am alone. Macht nichts. Who vants to listen to Chopsticks anyvay?

I sure don't.

Envoi:
Grandpa, there's a green van outside waiting to take you away.
Thanks, Sophie, would you like me to play something for you before I go?
No way!
That's my girl!