Dear Holiness Pope Benedick the EksVeeEye, she writes, you ARE a one, and no mistake! Fancy telling the poofters they're not to to do it any more in case it melts the polar icecaps! I bet they won't take any notice, though. We had one in the village some years back, but he got cured when some of the boys filled his trousers with ice-cold Guinness and gave him a picture of Marilyn Monroe with her skirt blowing up, you know the one? Well, maybe you don't know the one, you being celebrate and all. I often wonder what you and your priests do when you get those feelings. I guess that's what Palm Sunday is really for. Just my little joke.
Anyway, I for one am glad you have taken a stand (Do Popes have a stand? Sorry, it's just the way my mind works!) against nasty perversities. I think you ought to say something too about mixed marriages, sopphism, mastication, bond-aid and so on. So many things people shouldn't be doing, specially when there's an economic crisis, ie, a time when we need all hands to the pump. Hands to the pump?! Oh there I go again! I really must cut down on my late night Ovaltine, it's making me frisky.
Blodwen Trellis, Mrs, Widow, Retired