And the Babylonians built a huge tower as monument to their earthly power and achivements, and they called it the Tower of Babel. And it reached to the very heavens and almost struck God in His divine hindquarters. At first He was pleased, but when He realised it was not for His Glory but theirs, He said to Himself (for, verily, there was no one else to say it to) "These ungrateful Babylonian shlemiels! After all I've done for them, including cuneiform".
And devisedeth He at that very moment a Cunning Plan as follows: - He madeth each of them to speak a different language, so that nobody could any longer understand what the f...... anyone else was talking about.
And great was the confusion and the lamentation and the wailing and the gnashing of teeth. But, like the trombone, it is an ill wind that nobody blows good (?), so it was also a great opportunity as some saw it to make a few bobs, namely, the Institute of Linguists and the School of African and Oriental Studies, and the Association of Recognised English Language Schools, and lots of other people, including Old Scrotes and Publishers and other Sinners of that ilk. And they all made fortunes out of the Babylonians' misfortunes.
And God looked on dismayed, and pondered He unto Himself as follows:- "These buggers will make a buck out of anything". And with that, wondered, as He had so often done before, whether a plague of locusts and a murrain on the cattle might do the trick.....