Liffery R-S

ramsey adj
Descriptive of a frisky feeling induced by the first daffodils of Spring, the fluting notes of an early blackbird's song, or a shot of thriplow distillate (qv). Feeling ramsey is no substitute for the real thing, but for most of us, that's as good as it gets.

reach
Claimed by Sir Ernest Gower (Fowler's Modern English Usage, rev ed) to be potentially the most useful verb in the English language, if only it were given a chance.

rougham
Distressing new shoes by the addition of scuffmarks to make them look antique.

saddle bow
The nodding acknowledgement of a horserider that a passing motorist has slowed down. Hence, any ostensibly friendly gesture concealing a V sign.

saffron walden
The garish colours favoured by showbiz people. Saffron walden trousers are worn by golfers to help them remain visible in poor light.

sall (slang)
A grunt signifying “There isn’t any more”

sandy adj
Convenient, useful. Gertrude Stein's famous bon mot "Sandy and Alice, sandy and dandy" made the word popular in certain quarters, although there is still some dispute as to what she was referring to.

scarning
Scraping the excess margarine off a piece of bread in the belief that it contributes to your calorie-controlled diet.

scrane end
A cheap cut of meat that makes a tasty stew, and which is full of bits of bone that enable you to break your teeth without the aid of hammers.

seething
Trying to establish where the blood is coming from after an energetic session with an electric toothbrush.

shelfanger
A sell-by date cunningly devised to ensure that the product will be out of date before the customer gets it home.

shelford
The bitter realisation on trying to peel a hardboiled egg in one go that it is just one more thing the French do better than we do.

shepreth
An irrational but deeply satisfying urge to make fun of sheep.

shimping
Scraping the burnt bits off . King Alfred resolutely refused to shimp, realising that burnt cakes could well be his passport to immortality.

shimpling
The futile act of pulling down the hem of a very short skirt.

shingay cum wendy
Re-roofing properties to make them look like twee doll's houses. Now a popular TV series.

shippey, adj
Descriptive of the jaunty posture adopted by a foreign visitor to Cambridge the first time he or she tries to steer a punt. Often leads to a downham market, qv

shouldham, n
Any attempt to explain paranormal phenomena by discrediting those who reported them. Lately, shouldhams have been used to explain away such bizarre social aberrations as believing that the characters in a soap opera are just actors.

six-mile bottom
An homoerotic fantasy.

soham (pron 'so-um)
A version of the English language used only by toffs, characterised by the tendency to add an -m sound to the ends of words, eg, "Well, actuallym I really couldn't saym."

spalding
[1] Sinking into an inconsolable depression after failing to cope with machinery.

[2] Blind rage induced by the failure to crush an empty crisp packet.

spong drove
The immensely satisfying activity of removing dead skin and other detritus from bodily crevices.

spooner row
The controversy over whether transposing letters within a word constitutes a legitimate spoonerism. Most people just don't give a fcuk.

stansted
A rustic airport. Related closely to the word "standstill" but without the latter’s sense of urgency.

staple leys [pron steipl li:s]
A slimming diet popularised by Sir Stafford Cripps based on selective grazing. His early death as a result of eating all that cellulose triggered the search for an alternative called muesli.

stibbard (obs)
A medieval leather condom with many uses, such as the storing of grapeshot.

stiffkey
When you get the correct solution to a crossword clue but you have no idea why it is right, you have found a stiffkey.

stody, adj
Descriptive of the bold, legs-apart stance adopted by movie cowboys to suggest that even if you kicked them in the goolies they wouldn't flinch.

stow bardolph
Where butlers hide things.

stow longa
A prolonged act of lovemaking during which both participants actually fall asleep. Generally leads to a desperate farcet (qv).

stukely adj,
Unable to make a rational decision between reasonable alternatives. Often applied to Liberal Democrats.

stuntney
A phenomenon of very cold mornings.

swaffham prior
A swaffham bulbeck (qv) administered by a husband. Designed to establish territorial rights rather than to give pleasure.

swaffham bulbeck
A playful smack on the buttocks.

Swanton Novers
A writer of trashy novels who makes millions. Hence, any author who is more successful than you are.

swavesey adj
Uncertain. People get swavesey trying to decide whether to watch the news on Sky, BBC, ITV, CNN or Fox. As all the news is either bad or mere speculation, there is little point in getting swavesey about it.