There is something both compulsive and stupid about memes.
I fill in the following, and what am I going to do with the information? Nothing
What are YOU going to do with the information? Nothing, or maybe cross me off your Christmas card list.
On the other hand, completing memes is marginally better than vandalising telephone kiosks or molesting postpersons (bearers of acres of junk mail).
So here goes:
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? I thought:
With a face like that, you should have kippers for breakfast
2. Favorite planet?
I only know Earth, but Saturn looks pretty.
3. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
I never miss more than two calls.
4. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Diddly da doo doo da dee da dee dee. Do you know it?
5. Do you “label” yourself?
What am I? Marmalade?
6. What does your watch look like?
I never wear a watch nowadays. One small compensation for giving up work.
7. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sorry, I wasn't awake at the time.
8. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
Greetings from Istanbul.
9. What's a word or phrase that you say a lot?
Alone, fuck. In company, good gracious.
10. Last furry thing you touched?
A mini teddy bear given to me by my granddaughter to keep me company nights.
11. Favorite age you have been so far?
Ten and under.
12. Your worst enemy?
Myself, isn't that true for all of us?
13. What is your current desktop picture?
Two naked women fondling each other's breasts. Ojala!
14. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"If I catch anything interesting, I'll give you a call". (reference: moth trapping)
15. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
With a million bucks, I could fly wherever I wanted. Dumb question.
16. Are you in love with someone?
No, but I am open to offers
17. The last song you listened to?
I sang it: "If I were a rich man", etc
18. What time of day were you born?
0300 hours, not that I really minded.
19. What's your favorite food?
20. Where did you live in 1984?
21. Are you jealous of anyone?
No, but I envy one or two people whose sight and hearing is better than mine.
22. Is anyone jealous of you?
I hope not.
23. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
I was buying fish in the fish market in Sakarya (Ankara, Turkey).
24. Do you consider yourself kind?
Yes. And lovable. And available.
25. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
I would have a gecko tattooed on my arse and let it out after dark
26. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Russian, I love the liquid consonants, and Russian women driving tractors.
27. Would you move for the person you loved?
Fortunately I have a king-sized bed so the question wouldn't arise.
28. What's your life motto?
Is this it?
29. What's your favorite town/city?
Too many to mention, but I wouldn't mind dying in Florence, preferably after lunch.
30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
To my motor insurance company, protesting that I DID have a noclaims bonus, you bastards.
31. Can you change the oil in a car?
Yes, but I've got a guy fixes that kind of thing for me.
32. Your first love:
Margaret Benbow: only 5, but a stunner, red cheeks and long white legs.
33. Do you collect anything?
I love to buy notebooks but rarely use them. I hate to defile the first page.
34. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
Black gear for a funeral. I seem to be doing that a lot these days.
35. Have you been burned by love?
Not since I was......., no, that's not true, it was, hell, I don't know......Ask me an easier question.