Oh my goodness, this time, Mrs Trellis even posted a pic to go with her amazing letter!
Dear Gloria Hunniford, she writes, well, you HAVE been profilic recently, my dear! (I hope you don't mind me mydearing you, but I feel I know you, having watched you so many times on Sunday TV, rabbiting on about God and why we must be nice to Muslims etc).
You're like me, my dear, your neck's gone, but that's a cross we attractive older women have to bear, isn't it? How sensible of you to wear those chiffon scarves! When I say that you are attractive, I don't want you to think that I am one of those women who finds other women, well, you know, although I did once have a hot flush while watching Cilla Black on Blind Date, but that might have been the cheese and pickled onion supper that the late Mr Trellis and I were eating at the time. Fortunately, he didn't notice, but then, men don't, do they?
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, you being so abundant, literally-speaking. It's wonderful that you find so many different topics to write about, although most of the time I think what you write is incomprehensive, not wishing to give offence, you understand.
I don't mean to be cricital, but I think you ought to stick to safe topics like God and Muslims.
Blodwen Trellis, Widow, Normal, Retired