Friday, February 12, 2010

SPF is on the case

From a recent advisory leaflet issued by the SPF (Society for the Protection of Flowers):


All persons coming into contact with flowers, whether wild or cultivated, must be thoroughly fumigated.
When cutting stems, care must be taken to apply a sealant to the cut to protect that flower from possible contamination by human viruses.
Anyone found guilty of abusing a flower, eg, pushing their nose into it to inhale its perfume, will be beaten up and hospitalised.
NB: It is illegal to send flowers to any person hospitalised in this way. Or in any other f-----g way.

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