Such a caring lady, our correspondent from the Principality:
Dear Mrs Scrote, she writes, you're not going to believe this, but Myfanwy Roberts - you know, the one with the warts - well, I hear she's getting married! Yes, her! And she's not even pregnant as far as I can tell. Some people are all swank, know what I mean?
Hope you are well, dear. Let me know if you need any more incontinence pants.
Blodwen Trellis, Mrs, Widow, retd.