Tuesday, August 15, 2006

More Sophi(e)stry

Grandpa, what will happen when our pet tortoise dies?
We'll bury him in the garden, put a little cross on his grave, then invite all your friends to a party with cookies and ice-cream.
Can we kill him now, Grandpa?

What's that on the side of your nose, Grandpa?
It's a beauty spot, dear.
Hm, it looks more like a wart to me.
Have you ever thought of becoming a counsellor, dear?

Are you an old scrote, Grandpa?
Maybe, honeybunch.
Is it the same thing as a pain in the butt?
Don't believe everything your mother tells you.

Grandpa, what's an old scrote?
A lovable old man who forgets things.
Forgets what things?
Sorry, dear, what was your question?

Grandpa, I think you should remarry.
Really, dearest. Why?
So you won’t be lonely.
That’s very sweet of you.
You’d better get rid of the wart first, though.


d~ said...

I had a turtle named Sophie. The vet, normally a cold fish sort of fellow, cried when she died.

What kind of tortoise does Sophie have? Is that Sophie's tortoise in the picture?

Old Scrote said...

The tortoise is the regular kind with a leg at each corner and an occasional head.
What a nice vet you had there!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Charming post! Do you feed the little dears their lines or do they concoct them all by themselves?

Old Scrote said...

The little darlings need all the help they can get at this stage! I try to catch the spirit if not the letter.