Agony Aunt

Well, I have made the decision. I want to be an Agony Aunt. Below are my first Q and A's. Still feeling my way, so to speak......

Dear Aunt Scrote
I am worried that my hubby no longer seems interested in me, you know, that way. What can I do to revive his passion?
Worried Jane
Dear Worried Jane Put the egg in a pan of cold water and bring it to the boil - about seven minutes. Then turn down the heat and cook the egg for a further three minutes. Serve with bread and butter. If that doesn't revive his passion, kill him.

Dear Aunt Scrote
I find some women attractive, you know, physically. Does this mean I am, you know, a l......... ?
Anne from Norwich
Dear Anne Put the egg in a pan of cold water and bring it to the boil - about seven minutes. Then turn down the heat and cook the egg for a further three minutes. Serve with bread and butter. If you still find women attractive, email me privately....

Dear Auntie Scrote
I am only twelve but I already have, you know, feelings. I just worry that I might not be normal. Please help me.
Worried Brown-eyes
Dear Worried Brown-eyes Put the egg in a pan of cold water and bring it to the boil - about seven minutes. Then turn down the heat and cook the egg for a further three minutes. Serve with bread and butter. If this doesn't work, you are definitely not normal. Tough luck, kid.