Right ON

Just look at this. Isn't it sexy? And its high pressure water jet can clean your patio, wash your vehicles, drive away vermin, and if all that fails to float your boat, you can always turn it on yourself and blow your wrinkles away.
So I bought one. And I set it up, following the Bedienungsanleitung - always makes things more exciting if you are doing them in a foreign language - and then.....
....pointed the nozzle at the patio and turned on the water....
....and a dribble emerged....
I can urinate with more force than this machine could, dammit. It definitely had a very enlarged prostate in my view.
So I packed it back in its box and forgot about it for a couple of weeks. Then today, I took it out again, and told it in a very stern voice that I was giving it "one last chance" before it was "auf dem Misthaufen damit!" - the rubbish heap for you, my lad.
And it worked! It worked beautifully! I cleaned patios and pathways and my Land Rover and three passing squirrels.
And it was a good feeling. Apart from the fact that mud had splashed over the walls and the windows of the house. Have you ever had a house infected with impetigo?
But trotzdem I was a happy bunny. But, as you do, I wondered why it hadn't worked the first time. What was different?
The difference was that, last time, I had turned on the water, but hadn't pressed the little button on the machine with the word ON inscribed in red letters on it.
Oh dear, one day, when I grow up, I will get things right first time.