Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Old Father Time, damn him

Every day, I take 1000mg of Vitamin C and 75mg of Aspirin. This is to postpone the inevitable stroke. With that, I take 1000mg of Cod Liver Oil. This is to keep my joints supple. Every evening, I massage Ibuprofen gel into my shoulders. This is in the (vain?) hope that I can reduce the nastiness of my "cold shoulder" condition. Then I massage a good dose of Glusosamine gel into my knees. This is to postpone the day when I will need to have an operation on them. I also take a daily shluck of Cranberry Juice. This is to delay the inevitable enlargement of my prostate gland.
And I try to maintain a daily dose of 75cl of good Australian red wine, mainly because it helps me to live with the above conditions and worries.
But no worries: I can still remember - just - the time when my body did everything I asked of it without complaint. It's a bugger growing old, but it's better than the alternative.

3 comments:

Konstantin said...

In which ways Australian wine is better than French, Spanish, Italian, etc? And by the way, isn't daily 0.75l too heavy a task for your liver?

Old Scrote said...

It's partly a matter of taste. There are some Italian and Spanish wines that I also like. And it's partly a matter of value for money: French wines sold in Britain are either cheap and nasty, or very very expensive.
It is nice of you to be concerned about my liver, but it is my business, not yours.

Konstantin said...

Of course you're right, sorry! I meant in general, not for yours in particular.
Thanks for the answer!