Dear Boris Johnson, she writes, not for the first time, I am bemused by your obsessation with female bosoms. I can only think that you were deprivated of the nimpule as a baby. "Spare the tit and spoil the child", as my late husband used to say whenever I told him to leave my dinties alone. Don't think me cruel, he just wanted to push them together and make a single mound, like that man in Third Encounters of a Close Kind.
Anyway, if you are going to make a success of being Mare of London (Shouldn't that be Stallion? I get confused very easily these days), where was I?, oh yes, if you are to make a success of being Mare of London, you need to forget all about busty substances and get a grip on yourself. But I guess is you forget the first you won't need to do the second. Haha. Just my little joke. I wasn't implying that you are a wanker, even though you are.
Blodwen Trellis Mrs, Widow, refined.