Genesis revisited

And the Lord said "Let there be light!"
And they said "Why?"
And He saideth: "Cos you can't see in the dark."
And they noddedeth and spaketh thuswise:"There's no flies on Him and that's a fact!"
At which point, the idea of a destructive Flood entered His mind.
And who can blame Him?
"But, lo!" he spaketh, giving it one more shot, "Ye can see for fricking miles!"
And lo and verily and forsooth, there was no denying the truth of it.
And they knew the Truth of His words.
And they pondered His words.
"Not much to see, mind you," they said.
"Hang on," said the Infinite Patience, "I'm working on populating the fundament with a few bits and pieces."
And He diddeth the flash thing with the flora and fauna.
"Bleedin' Longleat!" one of them saideth.
"I hate snakes!" opinedeth another.
At which point, the Divine Being gritted His teeth and thought, "I will give it one more go.
And pluckedeth He a spare rib off His barbecue, and, lo, createdeth He Woman.
"Bloody Norah!" they said in unison, "what's that when it's at home? Looks like a bloke with lumps and no willy."
At a stroke, the Omnipotent lost His cool and destroyed everything.
And that was that.
Well, almost that.
After a couple of days, He thought: "Well, Mars was a washout, but it was a start. Let's see if We can do better. Another firmament. I'll call it Earth, make it out of dirt and see what happens."
And He said "Let there be light."
And there was light.
And you could see for fricking miles.
Not that it made any difference in the end.