My beloveds, I have just had a moment of terrible insight, brought on by the tripping out of all the lights in my house. With the aid of a torch, I wish to tell you what I have discovered about myself and the universe.
1 I don't know how electricity works
2 I don't know how telephones, tvs, fridges or microwaves work
3 I don't know how aeroplanes stay up
4 For that matter, I don't know how ladies' breasts stay up
5 I don't know how the internet works
6 I don't know how this computer works
7 In fact, I don't know how this torch works
8 I also realise I don't know where or what my pancreas is...
9 ...or what it does...
10 ...and that goes for most of the other organs in my squishy innards.
Damn, I hate it when the lights go out.