Low Energy

Today, an envelope dropped through my letterbox bearing the message
Information about government energy saving commitment
Ah, methought, they want to help an Old Age Scrote Pensioner like me to cope with the soaring cost of his heating bills (Actually doubled in the last year).
Bless you, Sir, Mr Gordon Brown, Sir, methought.
Then I open it and see the letter heading:
Are you eligible for 4 FREE energy saving light bulbs?
(Their capitals, not mine).
And then I realise where we are.
I once described the East Bloc countries of the Soviet era as "low light-bulb economies", because the whole region was plunged into a 20W light-bulb gloom. Talk about depressing.
And, if you have tried these "energy saving light bulbs", you will know that they have two important characteristics: [1] they emit gloom [2] they are elongated and do not fit most of your lampshades.
Never mind, at least Gordon Brown is true to his basic socialist principles: he wants to plunge me and my fellow OAPs into a Soviet-style penumbra in order to make us feel that we really are doing our bit to fight Global Warming.
And we thought Tony Blair was all style and no substance.
Bastard.