Don't misunderstand me, I find the razmatazz that accompanies the four-yearly Beauty Contest, sorry, Presidential Election, in the USA most endearing. What a lovely pair McCain and Palin make! The poor guy looks at her and DROOLS: he's going to die any moment now of a heart attack, but with a beatific smile on his face. No, I ain't got nothin' against the Presidential Election circus - it beats most of the soaps on TV into a cocked hat anyway.
It's just that I don't want it here.
We have a nice sensible monarchy that is a point of focus, provides an excuse for a bit of P and C (Pomp and Circumstance), keeps alive some of the more arcane features of English syntax, and it doesn't get in the way of serious government, whatever that is.
But the chattering classes in the metropolis have started to mutter about replacing the monarchy with a republican system. So - and I hope you will forgive for taking this action without consulting you first - I got on to HM (Her Majesty) and asked her what she was going to do about it.
I now have my answer....