You all know me as a dedicated oenophile. Well, I think my passion slipped over into insanity when I decided to have a go at DIY.
But it's not just the mess on the kitchen floor, it's not just the constant glerp-glerp of carbon dioxide bubbling through the air filter, it's not even the weird taste of the stuff when I inadvertently swallowed a mouthful as I sucked a sample through the syphon.
No, it's the instructions that accompanies the kit. First off, written in insurance policy type so small you need to employ an ant to read it. And when your ant finally tells you what it says, you go gaga trying to conform to the rituals of sterilisation and measurement. Damn, it's so complicated, it's almost religious.
But, whatever the oenological outcome, there is one piece of added value - I have finally understood what "specific gravity" is. That is something that our nerdy physics teacher, Mr "Gobbler" Holmes, never managed to explain during all my years at Wellington Grammar School. To which, if you are so inclined, you could add Archimedes' Principle, Boyle's Law, Avagadro's Hypothesis, the moment of a couple, refraction, Ohm's Law, the Wheatstone Bridge (which didn't seem to span anything) and much much more.
But Specific Gravity I now got. Finally.
Like I got a hydrometer to measure it. Not that I understand the hydrometer.
Can't wait to pour this lot down the sink and get back to my regular supplier.