My kitchen

You can learn SO much from this photograph. It is of my kitchen. You can see that the wallpaper is distressed, needs replacing. You can see that I keep a box of kleenex tissues handy - like most fen folk, I have a sinus problem. You can see, just, my microwave on the left, the slob's answer to haute cuisine. And you can see that my young neighbour, Clare, likes to sit in my chair and turn her back when the camera clicks. In fact it's a swivel chair, so she has a conflict between being grown up and dignified, and being a little girl still and spinning round on it like it was a carousel.
I am sure you appreciate that when a man starts writing about his kitchen, he is getting desperate...