Friday, January 16, 2009

It's not all in the mind

Apparently my lovely ex-wife has finally seen my blog, thanks to her sister. And my lovely ex-wife's reaction was "He is obsessed with boobs!".
Moi? It is true that my lovely ex-wife, and indeed her sister, were well endowed in that respect, though that is not (necessarily) why I married her, or indeed why I admired her sister.
But, mes chers potes, my lovely ex-wife does have a point. My generation of bonny boys were indeed focused on the mammary attributes of females. Names that mean nothing to you - Jayne Mansfield and Jane Russell to name but four - were thrust in front of us, so to speak, inviting us to pant and drool. Which we did.
So it is not surprising that I have more than a vestigial interest. Apart from which, don't blame me, blame Evolution. What part of any female is most prominent? Well, if she is a baboon or a chimpanzee or other primate, it is her brightly-coloured bum. But with the human ape, it is the bumpy bits on the front.
Indeed, there is a quite serious theory that the human female's breasts are prominent (in contrast to the other primates, that is) as an attractant alternative to a bright purple rump, or whatever it is that causes a male baboon or chimpanzee to lose his cool. Personally, I am glad my lovely ex-wife had an ample bosom rather than a psychedelic backside.
What I mean, is don't blame me if I notice a bazoom. Moreoever, given the cunning structural engineering that has gone into the design of the modern brassiere (I wonder where that word comes from?), it is impossible for a man NOT to notice a bosom, or, in the worst case, get his eye poked out by one.


prairie mary said...

Though we are about the same age, I regret that I have not shared any of your past with you, neither as a lover or as a friend or even as an aquaintance, though I suppose being blogger friends is quaint enough for even the English. I thought I would remind you, for surely you once knew, that "brassiere" is a French word that has to do with arms (bras) and can also be applied, according to French/English dictionary , to a child's sleeved vest or to the shoulder straps on a knapsack or to "leading strings" for an infant, whatever they are. (Dictionaries always lead one on so!) Also, the word can apply to a lifejacket, as Mae West well knew.

Prairie Mary

Old Scrote said...

Well, there ya go, Mary. I never connected the word with the word "bras" = arm. Never mind, when I grow up, I will know lots of things. I hope you are keeping well.