Wednesday, September 12, 2007


This post is about death, and offers neither wisdom nor comfort. I had occasion to phone my lovely ex-wife this evening on some trivial family matter (I can't remember our grandchildren's birthdays - typical male, right?) and found her in tears, having heard that her older brother had just died, and somewhat mysteriously it seems.
Scratch any human being, and you will find pain just below the surface. Which of you reading this has not suffered the outrage of the death of a loved one? And I use the word outrage deliberately, because however hard we try, it's difficult not to rage against God or the gods or Fate for taking away a loved one.
It's just so UNFAIR. It makes no sense. There is no rhyme or reason.
So, what did I advise my lovely ex-wife? "Pour yourself a stiff brandy", I said.
Dumb, sure, but what else can you say? I just don't have any words of wisdom or comfort at such times.


Anonymous said...

God took away my grandmother from me when ı was 12. But I did not think that it was unfair. Because I thought it was the God who GAVE us our loved ones.

Say, 'He Who has originated them the first time shall bring them to life again,
Your Lord wrongs not His Servants,


ladybug said...

Outrage, yes I agree. That's how I initially feel when a loved one dies. Hey, I like your advice! Hahaha. Anyway, you did the right thing by calling her up (even if you initially did not know about the death). Just being there helps a great deal.

hotrodfil said...

A year ago you visited my first blog post to leave a comment to this.

"She brought some order to this chaos - gave me a purpose, a lover, a life, but unfortunately not, lifelong friend. And two wonderful kids.
Because of them, I still have that purpose she gave me. And so it begins."

Like you said. Nothing you can say. Apart from saying it.