I was beginning to worry that something had happened to our North Walian correspondent, but, no, I just received this missive from her.
Dear Osama, she writes, I hope you don't mind me using your christian name, but I feel I know you SO well, what with both of us having a passion for ankle-length frocks. I am sure you share my view that miniskirts are most unflattering on anyone over the age of eighteen. I certainly am glad you have never been tempted to appear in public wearing anything above the knee.
It's none of my business, but I understand that you have an entourage of adoring young men. While I do not personally approve of homeopathy - except for a brief feeling of passion I once had for our District Nurse some years back during a colonial irrigation session - I am sure you exercise suitable discreption, and you also ensure that they keep their legs covered at all times.
If you are ever in Llanfair pg, do call in and we can enjoy a drink together. I have a special concoction, strictly non-alchoholic, of course, me being a Primitive Methodist, and you a dessicated Muslin. I call it my Mazeltov Cocktail, something you semitic people will understand.
Blodwen Trellis, Mrs, Widow, retired.