Monday, December 17, 2007

What's in a name?

According to a reliable Californian source, the new Kiwi Allsop remains happy and well-fed but unnamed. I still think a Biblical name to follow Joseph and Matthew is best: such names never go out of fashion. David, Peter, Simon, etc, though Luke might be a bridge too far.
What baffles me is how people can possibly give their wee babies, all pink and wrapped in swaddling clothes like the Baby Jesus, names like "Clint" or "Hank".I never yet saw a baby that looked like a Clint or a Hank, though, once they is all growed up and strap on them sixshooters, pardner, them monikers is the dog's bolludicocks (Spits into cuspidor).
Far be me from it to give advice to the Auckland Allsops, but I do think it's important to choose a first name that harmonises with the surname. A name ending in a consonant acts as a buffer, eg, David Allsop as distinct from Henry Allsop, which comes out as Henry'Yallsop.
When I was in Primary School, the monitor, in the absence of the teacher, was instructed to write up the initials of boys who misbehaved. At that time, I was known as Jackie Allsop. The result was that, nine times out of ten, I was scribed as either JY, which meant that Jimmy Yale got the cane; or JH, in which case John Heinemann got the cane. Me, I just stayed VERY quiet.
Maybe a clumsy elision isn't such a bad thing after all.

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