Monday, September 22, 2008

Old Scrote Update

I had a lament today from my friend in Alaska that my blog has nothing about me in it lately. Oh dear, sorry. I will try to remedy that by dazzling you with recent happenings in my life:
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I have been digging out rogue clumps of pendulous sedge in my garden
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My central heating system has broken down
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I have a verruca on the sole of my left foot
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I have a new crown on upper right 5
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Upper left 5 is sensitive, but my dentist cannot say why
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I met a lady today with a stupendous bosom, I will never see her again. alas
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I have finally understood about free radicals and anti-oxidants and intend to eat punnetloads of blueberries from now on.
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All the birthdays in my family fall within the next six weeks and I have no idea what to do about them
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There were 35 Greenfinches in my garden yesterday
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The news about the Golden Oriole book is that there is no news. Maybe it will be out next Spring
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I have discovered the convenience of fitted bottom sheets but have no idea [a] why they are slightly smaller than the mattress [b] how to fold them after laundering
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My back problem persists, but I have no idea how to get rid of the embonpoint in front that is causing it
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I have come to the realisation that it is much easier to lose friends than to make them
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Plums are dear

3 comments:

Chas S. Clifton said...

Only my mother could fold fitted sheets perfectly. And she is dead.

mscriver said...

My method is not perfect, but I got it from Martha Stewart so it can't be all wrong. One "nests" the four corners of the sheet after folding twice, once lengthwise and once crosswise. Just put your hand in the corner and then put the corner in the corner under it. That should at least come close.

The other method is to only buy two bottom sheets: one to be on the bed and the other to be in the wash, so you never have to fold them.

Prairie Mary

Jake Allsop said...

Thank you both.
Mary, I like your idea of buying a second bottom sheet. It's amazing how many problems can be solved by throwing money at them!
Love
Jake