As usual, our faithful NorthWalian correspondent is quick off the mark, way off the mark in fact:
Dear Pope Benedict XVI, she writes, I was SO glad to read that you are a Coop customer, Over the years, the Coop divi enabled me to provide the late Mr Trellis with all kinds of little treats, eg, Crawfords Cream Crackers, even if it meant crumbs in the bed after a nibble and brief sexual congress.
I didn't really understand all that stuff about credit cards, though. The only card game Mr Trellis and I ever played was cribbage, and I still am not sure what "one for his knob" means, although it always made my late husband giggle and sometimes choke on his cream cracker.
Anyway, even though I am a Methodist (Primitive Wesleyan), I wish you well in your new job. It must make a change being in all that papal regalia after years of prancing around in a HitlerJugend uniform. Funny how things turn out, isn't it?
Yours submersively Blodwen Trellis, Mrs, widow, retired