Listen, guys and dolls, I have been imitated, I have been doppelganged, I have been stolen, I have been duplicated, I have been in several places at once. And it is no exciting out-of-body experience I am talking about: somebody filched my credit card details and went on a spending spree.
Bugger, over a thousand pounds of my money has been frittered by strangers on things I would never dream of buying, like ipods, three-piece moquette suites and illuminated socks.
Fortunately, the credit card company and merchants in general have a mechanism for dealing with this shit, so I should not suffer more from this than a bruised ego.
But, I hear you ask, how did the rascals do it?
Yes, that's my question too. My bank describes this occurrence as "rare" and also tries to reassure me by telling me I have reliable patellae - well, not really, but they have been most helpful. So, how do you avoid this stealth attack on your plastic? Simple to say, hard to implement: never let your credit card out of your sight.
As to the rascals, I wish them no ill beyond an intimate genital encounter with the flames of Hell and an eternity of irritable bowel syndrome.
As to how the scam came to light, I like to think that the Coop Bank, my Visa providers, immediately smelled a rat when they saw that purchase of illuminated socks appearing on my statement. They know me for a gentleman of taste.