Once again, Mrs Trellis is right on the button, or at least on some kind of button:
Dear Camilla Parker-Bowles, she writes, reading your latest postings, I find myself bereft of speech. I admired you at first, the way you took over from Princess Di, whom everyone thought gorgeous while you seemed to be a bit dowdy, pardon the expression. But I thought, no, give her a chance, even if she does look like a horse.
But now, I find your rantings about broccoli and slippers are just too much. First off, nobody wants to read about broccoli and slippers. Well, apart from maybe Jenny Bond, who is fascinated by the least breaking of the royal wind, as you might say.
Second, I had hoped you would privy us to what it is like to be married to HRH. I mean, how do you relate to a man who talks to plants? Specially when you think that they know that he is a vegetarian and is just waiting for the moment to cut them off their stalks and plunge them into boiling water.
Also, instead of broccoli, etc, I think it would be inspirational if you gave us an insight into your relations with your mum-in-law. I mean, the mother of the late Mr Trellis was a tartar, always implifying that I was not good enough for him, the b.tch. Do you get that from yours? Mind you, there's not a lot you can do about it anyway, her having the power to slap you in the Tower and such.
What I mean is, give us some REAL news, like how often does He slip you the royal length, and what do you have for breakfast?