Grand Unified Theory

Wouldn't it be nice if there was one grand theory that accounted for everything: relativity, gravity, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics, etc?
Well, it would be nice for the theoretical physicists, and they are all trying to come up with one.
But I think the ordinary Joe and Joanna in the Street could benefit from a GUT which brought together many disparate strands of current concern. I should like to start everyone's balls rolling by offering the following as a starting point:
The melting of the polar icecaps is caused by bird droppings...
...which have increased because of the viral infection known as avian flu...
...which is caused when birds' resistance is lowered because of obesity...
which is the result of overeating at landfill sites...
which are the result of conspicuous consumption...
...which arises when banks are too generous with credit...
...which is a way of sustaining economic activity...
...which has the side effect of increasing the consumption of gasoline/petrol...
which really began in earnest when I bought a Lambretta scooter in 1960.

So, as I have already hinted, it is all my fault. That's my GUT feeling anyway.