Years ago, I bought a device made by a Danish firm called Novasonic. Check it out, the device now costs over £100. Basically it vibrates and the claim is that the vibrations, ultrasonic or whatever, stimulate blood vessels, and can be beneficial for people suffering from lower back pain, cramps and other assorted unpleasantnesses.
And I have used it many times, and it works for me. It uncramps calf muscles, it relieves lower back pain, it soothes nasty neck pains and it doesn't make much noise while it's doing it. Seriously, I can recommend it.
On the other hand, my children, friends and casual visitors, the truth is out: the Old Scrote has become dependent on a vibrator to keep him vibrant in his old age.
Still, it;s better than vandalizing telephone kiosks or molesting dwarves on their birthdays...