Requiescat in Pace

When I go, I don't want to leave any loose ends. So, after spending all my money and squeezing the last drops out of my sex life, I have come to the penultimate action: deciding on my epitaph. Of course, all the good ones have already been taken (I would love to have had Si momumentum requiris, circumspice, not that I will have left anything monumental, apart from an unexplained stain on the kitchen wall), so here is all I could come up with. Given that my children seem to have stopped communicating with the Old Scrote, I thought it useful to publish it here, so that any last remaining friend with a chisel and a mallet could chip out the letters on my headstone.