I've finally found a way to sum up my life, maybe work it up into an epitaph. For many years we had a weekly comedy show, hosted by a comedy duo, Eric Morecombe and Ernie Wise. A very popular feature of each programme was the guest appearance of a celebrity from another field like, music or broadcasting. In one show, they had invited Andre Previn, the renowned conductor, to conduct the orchestra to accompany Eric playing Grieg's Piano Concerto. After a few bars, during which Eric was playing abominably, Previn stopped the orchestra and went up to the piano.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Playing Grieg's Piano Concerto," Eric replied defensively.
"But you're playing all the wrong notes!"
At this, Eric got up, grabbed the distinguished conductor by his lapels and said in a sort of Humphrey Bogart tough-guy voice:
"Listen, sunshine, I'm playing all the RIGHT notes....but not necessarily in the right order."
As a description of one's well-meaning attempts to do the right thing, but which don't produce the desired results, it can't be bettered. So, that's my epitaph:
"He played all the right notes, but not necessarily in the right order".
By the way, don't expect to read it on a tombstone for a while yet, ok?
3 comments:
I've never heard of Morecombe and Wise, but the skit you describe is reminiscent of Viktor Borge's utterly charming bits in which he played piano extremely badly to great comic effect. It must have been difficult for him as he was actually a most proficient musician.
I think you've found the perfect epitaph. which could describe most of us. At least the part about sequence.
I've never considered what my gravestone, if any, would say, but I have given thought to the music that should be played at my funeral.
I have read a few Masrettin Hodja stories to practise my Turkish. Why don't you post one or two on your blog in both languages? Good for your English, good for my Turkish!
Hosca kal.
J
HeartinSanFransisco: it may seem like a morbid subject, but if we don't choose the music, someone else will. What's your choice? A dear friend of mine who died recently had Dixieland Jazz played at the beginning and end of the service. Mind you, it was a crematorium. I am not sure you could do that in a church.
J
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